I might remember having fun, but I don't remember much else. I don't remember the people I was with, the sights, the sounds, I wasn't really present. There was no me, there, just a drunk. And I certainly remember the shame, the anger, the depression, anxiety. I remember the uneasiness - I was laughing at times, but it was as though I was an impostor, a lie and a fake.
Being present, aware of myself, aware of others and how they might be enjoying themselves, makes things so much funner now. I am real. I am me. And that is a good person to be.