Hi Justwokeup. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, but glad you want to talk it over.
I drank almost 30 yrs. too. It was a huge part of almost everything I did. When I first stopped I felt like an alien. Everything seemed strange and I was very foggy. At around 3 months things began to change. I felt like I was rejoining the human race, bit by bit. It doesn't happen all at once - we've beaten ourselves up badly - we need time to heal. You will get there.