I do things for me that I've always wanted to do. Now mind you since AH moved out, I really have a hard time making ends meet financially. But you know - sometimes it's nice to just go out and splurge on myself.
In the year that Ah has moved out, I have been promoted at work which meant I had to have some new clothes. Okay, so I bought cheap but they were still new. A luxury that I hadn't had in a long long time.
I've had my eyebrows waxed. LOL. And I don't have bad eyebrows. I just had never had it done so I went and did it.
I've also taken my kids to a bunch of festivals and fairs that are around here. This was something we all missed out on because AH never wanted to go and therefore, the kids and I didn't go either. (This was before I found this site, alanon, etc)
I've learned to accept what people offer me. And I don't just mean financial things. I've learned that friendship and someone loving me really is a wonderful thing. From the small things they do for me to simply being there for me. So I've rid myself of those that aren't really my friends and have learned to love and appreciate the true friends that I really do have.
A friend of mine and I go to a concert or two every summer. This is just our day and it's fun to see the old groups out there that were big in our teenage years. It's nice to return to our youth once or twice a year.
I also listen to a song on my way to work every morning. It's a song that reminds me of the night that I hit my bottom. It gives me strength as it reminds me of how far I"ve come.
Okay, so I obviously don't do something daily for myself. This is something I need to work. But one more thing I have to share because it gave me the best feeling of everything I've ever done for myself.
I wanted my navel peirced about 10 years ago before it was so common. Ah had a fit. It wasn't a nice conversation and it ended with my asking him if he'd divorce me if I had it done and him saying he probably would. Well, one week exactly after AH moved out, I went and had my navel peirced. Ironically I was supposed to have it done the day AH did move out, but my son got sick. We had a huge fight and he moved out so I had it done the following week. This was something I had wanted for years!!!!! This was something I hadn't done because HE didn't want me to have it done and I allowed him to control me. This was the first thing that I did FOR ME! And it was a huge huge thing for me!
Sometimes I think it's still hard for us to focus on ourselves. We're used to taking care of everyone else. But truly, we all need to love ourselves and I wanted to say thank you for posting this as it's a great reminder for me.