When I was young, I always thought my family was "totally normal." And my childhood had its moments--I had some really great times. It had its ups and downs like any other time in life.
For me, when my life felt like it was getting completely out of control--and I made the decision that I needed help based on relationship difficulties--I went to a therapist. She had me pegged--completely correctly right away and pointed me in the direction of Al-Anon and ACoA. I was so surprised when I was reading the laundry list. I exhibit most of the characteristics to a high degree. That was about the time that I realized that my dad's drinking definitely had an impact on the family.
I've made a lot of progress--went through a lot of pain in coming to terms with my childhood--and I *still* have so many problems with relationships. My codependent stuff always causes trouble for me--even when I think it isn't--it still does. I'm in kind of a bad position in connection to my romantic relationship (which incidentally is anything but...lol) because my codependency issues have a way of leaking out whenever I think they won't. Even when I think they aren't--they are.
So anyway, I agree with Mracoa that the labeling isn't all that important. I always just look at the tendencies that I have that don't always serve me well. I didn't have any good teachers when it came to relationships--not really my fault, but it is my responsibility to try and identify when those tendencies are subconsciously creeping in--so I know that those responses aren't the only choice. Admittedly, I'm often not successful, but that's a good reason to keep trying.