My mom too..we haven't had a relationship in 8 years..But I'm on my 9th step in AlAnon so I'll have to make an amends to her..I am taking gradual steps at trying to put her back in my life..I sent her a birthday card last week.
Of course, she has not called me 1x in 8 years..I've seen her twice - my brother's funeral (oh the viciousness things she said to me) and my sister's wedding 4 years ago..no contact from her at any time..
I now realize that her father was a really mean nasty abusive alcoholic (heard rumors he held a knive to her throat) and her mom died when she was in her early 20s.
I'm trying to have compassion for her because she is a very sick person as well..My uncle (her brother) is also an alcoholic..Because I haven't seen her in 8 years, I don't know if she drinks but I wonder if she is an alcoholic as well..She didn't drink much when I was growing up but her behavior was so hurtful and atrocious..
anyway I was very angry at her for years but not now..I am very worried about trying to have a relationship with her because I think she might still have the capacity to hurt me..but maybe I'll have enough recovery to deal with her..