Originally Posted by
haennie 
mpr, I've read parts of your old thread on getting sober and found it inspiring.
So now, what exactly brings your mind to alcohol again? You say you fancy some enhancement. Are you looking for new things to experiment with? Some kind of change to your life and routines? Or do you specifically fancy the effects of alcohol to amplify your experience?
If the former (novelty), there are millions of things to try and explore in healthy and risk-free ways, even "altered states of consciousness" as they say it. If you are looking for relaxation, same there: many different risk-free approaches.
If you specifically recall the effects of booze and are thinking about recapping that occasionally because you know you liked it in the past, I would definitely think deeply... it sounds like you do examine many sides of the issue. I am just suggesting that you look deeply into your motivations.
Thank you, I appreciate that!
Not really looking for new things to experiment with, I am always open to new things anyhow less hard drugs of course. I just miss being able to enjoy a nice drink, responsibly.
I am definitely a deep thinker and tend to cover all my bases before making a decision. I think about my motives a bit more carefully though.
It sounds very cliche, and any reason I provide really just sounds like a alki looking for justification - may be on a slight level but even if it were not it still comes across as such. All of us on this forum have the scarlet letter so to speak. The odds are against us if we want to quit, remain sober, or attempt moderation. We all have our own journey and can get endless advice along the way but only we can truly make decisions for ourselves.
I will keep this thread updated if there is anything to update. The sad part is if I have a drink and feel fine, I know many will just say 1 month, 6 months etc.. I don't think that is cool but I understand at the same time to stay on track themselves many have to persecute out of reflex alone. Whereas I personally would be happy for the person and wish them the best. That being said many on here are great as well and am thankful for all of them as they helped me get sober.