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Old 09-18-2014, 04:43 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
mpr
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
Your posts have quite a positive tone which leads me to believe that whatever you did to quit, and how you have been living since, has been working well for you. It would seem to make sense to continue, and not much sense to put everything at risk for the sake of an experiment. You may lose control and if you do, you may never get it back.

I don't know if it is that important to know if you are an alcoholic of the hopeless variety like I was. You have found a good solution so why not stick with it.

Now if you were like me, there is an aspect to my program which requires complete surrender in order to recover. In part it goes "the delusion that we are like other people, or presently maybe, has to be smashed". Full recovery for me would have been impossible while I was still entertaining the idea that I might be able to drink like other people. For as long as I held that thought I wouldn't be fully willing or honest enough to work the program effectively, and the result of that would be miserable sobriety... What is sometimes referred to as dry drunk. Another binge was needed to smash the delusion.

But you don't sound miserable, quite the contrary, so I would suggest taking the easy path and continue your sober journey, which has worked very well for you so far.
I try and be quite positive and yes everything has gone very smooth for my sobriety thus far. Even from time to time I've been around old friends and they are doing lines of coke, drinking hard liquor etc.. I catch up with them maybe 1-2x a year, realize god is this boring and make my exit an hour or so later. That just is not my scene at all. I have no issues being around users and that type of using actually turns me off. On the other hand kicking back on a plush leather sofa, pop a lp on the turntable and pour myself an expensive drink of something to slowly sip on sounds simply marvelous.

In addition when I vacation having a night cap or something also seems nice. I have cut out all my old friends, I can't drink and drive, I would never consume during the day. Basically I could only drink when with my girlfriend while on vacation or when I am at home, at night, on a non work out day. Thats basically the jist of it. Not to mention I would never give up exercise and a clean diet for booze as they are more important to me.

I may just be going thru a alcohol thinking phase at the moment. I will let a month pass and see how I feel then before I make a decision, more than likely at least.
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