I agree. It took me a while to accept that she is not capable.
I used to think I didn't have the maternal instinct. I mean I always loved my kids but I thought I was like my mother and the idea was not to let it show. The fact is she just does not have it.
I came to find out that I do have it but I had no example on how to express it. I had to be shown unconditional love for me to learn how to express it to my children.