Day 4 for me, feeling totally resolute. Although it's usually around the 2 week mark that it starts to get hard.
I had an experience last night which just strengthened my resolve. I went out with an old boyfriend. He occasionally does coke but we haven't done it together in a long time. Anyway- he was there the last time I used (when I relapsed) and he asked me if I had been ok. I had previously talked to him about the fact that I was quitting, and he'd said that he had noticed that I was on coke that night and that I was acting a bit weird. I knew I was being a bit weird at the time- i just got all paranoid, basically because i hated myself for being on coke after all the promises I had made myself.
I just hate that- knowing that I wasn't being myself- it makes me feel so paranoid and is exactly one of the reasons that I want to quit- the fact that I behave differently and people notice. It's not who I want to be.
So- I am still committed to not drinking for the foreseeable future, and I can see how much easier that will make it for me in the coming weeks.
Have people coming for dinner this weekend (non using friends), so it'll be 'pretend' wine in my glass- elderflower or something.
Thanks again for all your words of advice/encouragement, you all know how much it means.
I hope you're all having a good day.