if you take all you belive in and the words of wisdom like the footsteps thing for example some people will look back on there lives and believe someone carried them and ignore all the pain and suffering they had to go through based simply on the fact they survived it
this is where i would use the children as an acid test they havent even had a life to look back on so it seems very odd that these things seem more directed at older people who have lived a bit
its almost as though you can train yourself to simply ignore the suffering of others just so long as it fits in with your own view
for me personally i have to live in the here and now i have to reject fantasizing an deal with life each day as it comes sober or drunk
i know were drink will take me and what it cost me last time, i know how hard it was for me to keep on trying to stop drinking and all the many failed attempts
the only thing that got me sober was the day i walked into an aa rooms and started to learn
nothing took me to an aa room i had to make my own way there, nothing told me to go to aa except my own pain as the drink just couldnt remove me pain anymore
i had finaly hit a point in my life were i would want to die rather than drink again
infact thats exactly all i wanted to do i just wanted to go to sleep and never again wake up to face yet another day of pain and suffering
i can not pass on my desperation to anyone least of to anyone who comes into aa with so much left in life to lose or has never been in prison etc
all i have to offer these guys is a look into there own future if they dont do something about there own drinking as i am not unique as i believe any real alcholic will follow my path if they drink again and carry on drinking
it will lead to loseing everything, being homeless with no money and death but hopefully death will come first before the homelessness as those poor guys out there tonight sleeping rough with nothing will be all praying tonight that they never wake up
those guys show me just how lucky i am to have what i do have and how easy it would be for me to end up joining them
i would rather sit with a tramp for 5 mins than be blinded by people who are so full of themselves and on wisdom hunts
thats no reference to anyone in particular its just how i have come to understand alcoholism.