Kurapika, I'm so sorry for the reason you're here--but I'm glad that you are here. I've been a SR member for a long time, and I've always found lots of support and comfort here.
I wish I had some advice or words of wisdom to share. I struggle heartily with relationship issues and I know you must be experiencing a lot of pain and confusion. I'm in a relationship right now that's less than healthy for me, and I also struggle with leaving. I've been almost in crisis mode for the past three weeks or so--and been using up all my energy and strength on figuring out "what to do about him." I had a moment of enlightenment last night--I suddenly remembered--I can't control him.
If I spend my time stalking his every move and wondering what he's doing or who he's talking to--I'm hurting myself. People have advised me to just leave now, etc., but it's hard for me right now--and I don't feel ready. I've decided to just take things one day at a time and just do the best I can right now. I'm trying to let his issues go and focus on mine. I've found an Al-Anon meeting in my area that I think I will try next time and I'm going to go back to focusing on taking care of me and building up a support system. When I'm feeling ready and the time is right, I will make my move--but I feel like only I can make that decision.
I hope that you'll find as much support here as I have over the years.