Sorry I have written such a long post. I can honestly see why parents of addicts turn the other way. It took me many years to understand I couldn't fix him, nor control it, nor did I cause it. He is a compulsive liar. I now see this summer he has been trying to juggle and balance a normal life while using crack and drinking. We all know eventually it collapses on them. My heart is broken, I often wonder will the chaos ever stop. Hi Gf is going to be quite upset with us. She knows his past I just don't think she knows the extent. Why is it we are the bad people. He stole, he's using again ! So true the end result may be worse than jail.