So thankful....
So thankful for my sobriety this week. As weeks go..this has got to rate as one of the hardest ever and I'm only half way through.
On Monday I had this hugely difficult meeting at work, chairing a meeting with a lot of unhappy folk, trying to mediate and being fair to everyone.
Yesterday we laid my Dad to rest. He died 2 weeks ago. We'd had the most difficult of relationships for many years but in the past 6 months we had moved past all that and grown really close. I guess I'm grateful that we had something worth grieving for in the end. Being sober meant I could help my mum make all the arrangements and stand by her side to face whatever she needs to face.
I can deal with those members of my family whose own alcoholism means they have made Dad's death all about them, and whose behaviour has threatened to ruin what fragile relationships already exist. I can recognise their fear and anxieties yet remain strong for those who do not understand it.
Today I'm setting the wheels in motion for moving jobs. I've been at the same place for 12 years. I don't 'do' change very easily. I would rather remain in an unhappy place than take a chance on something new. But Mum needs me closer, and I want to be more available for her, so I'm going to have to weather some huge opposition from my current boss.
And on Saturday...I take my beautiful daughter, the light of my life to university.
The whole of my world is changing beyond all recognition. And I can do it...because I'm sober.
I watched my family drinking at my Dad's wake yesterday...I'm NEVER going back to that. I'm a different person, stronger.
I drank every night, I had no idea if I would ever be able to move away from that. It was hard in the beginning, but I'm so very grateful I did. Thank you so much SR. Xxx