Searching peace,
Are you still here right now and reading, I don't know if you are online or not. I felt like this many times. I prayed to just be able to go to sleep and to not wake up.
I remember one time, a long time ago, my DD was 8 then, it was the first time my ex physically abused me. He threw me to the floor and then kicked me in the ribs, told me I was a lazy POS, and then he went to sleep. I was up the entire night cleaning, because I wanted to show how good I could be. I was still up at 2:00am, my 8 yr old daughter came down to the basement, while I was washing clothes, and said, mom, I love you, please don't kill yourself. I remembered that everyday that I just wanted to be done with it.
If you are still up talk to us. If you went to sleep when you get up and read the messages, just know that we all care here for you and love you.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy