Your post hits a scary nerve with me. I have a very good friend that felt the same as you. Just some history on the subject. She married my 1st xhusband who was and alcoholic and treated me and her the exact same why you are being treated. I made her be friends with me whether she liked it or not. I wanted our kids to grow up together and have an extended family. Guess what, she and I are like sisters now. She stayed with him for 20 years while he treated her like total crap. She is a beautiful woman inside and out, will do anything for anybody and he still made her feel like sh**. It is what they do. She has tried to take her life several times. Her daughter, with my ex husband isl like one of my children, and we have tried to make her understand how important she is. She pushes everyone away that tries to befriend her and stand by her. Is that how you feel? Please understand, whether you think so or not,somebody loves you. You have children and they love you unconditionally. You are an important person to someone. You are here for a reason. Girl, my alcoholic boyfriend has left me with so much debt, but, I keep going and going and going. Please keep reading on this site and find out that you are not alone.