I'm in agreement in the sponsor of the same gender thing, to avoid intimacy confusion. However, I was part of a gay/bi AA fellowship at one point, and the whole thing was much more confusing there, because while someone of your own gender would likely identify much more with your experiences and issues, misunderstanding intimacy as connection or attraction was also possible. It required more deliberate/careful communication, and the gender rules about sponsorship were slightly loosened...
I think you try to find a sponsor whom you respect, enjoy, and think you'll grow with. I've had to work a bit to find ones who used more general spiritual language - I am not Christian, and while I can "translate" the Christian references in meetings and in the literature, for the depth of the sponsorship relationship I want someone who shares my spiritual perspective a bit. Importantly for the above post - I save most of the discussions and requests for feedback on relationships, life direction, etc., for my program friends.
Program friends who are not your sponsor are a really important part of the "family web" of sobriety support for me. It is a very different relationship than sponsorship. I have both male and female program friends, and access them differently for different kinds of conversations - with some we dish on dating and relationship, others we talk program and recovery, and others are folks I just love to tool around with and have adventures in sobriety. I get to choose who I access for what guidance, and who I share what with.
I love my sponsor. She is an amazing lady; I felt fully comfortable opening up to her with my fifth step, and we meet for coffee or go to meetings. She is my mother's age, and I feel that she fills the role and space in my life of wise woman.
I need to fill all the spaces in my life with supportive people, all those roles. I need to spread myself among many people in my sobriety community, actively feeding all those relationships for me and for them. Some might not make it, some might move away, some might be part of my life for decades. This recovery board is part of that collage of mutual support as well.
It takes a village...