Before I was able to sober up I and most alcoholics needed to get HONEST with ourselves about our own drinking. I was able to justify the unjustifiable if there was a smidgen in it that was justifiable. To this day I can go into automatic dishonesty, mostly about non important things like “forgetting” I had my ration of ice cream for the week. The next big gee was acceptance that I cannot drink/drug in safety.
This and other things require practice and work to enjoy life without stimulants. Not always easy but easily attainable one day at a time.
BE WELL