Well this is the situation I am facing too, except I'm not married to him. My bf's anger and mood swings in the past years were at my expense and dwindled away my esteem. It took me the last two years to grasp the damage and rebuild my confidence, which I am still doing daily. I thought I was going crazy too. Know that you are not alone. Your feelings and what you are going through are understood by many of us.
I am truly sorry that you are going through this. I feel and understand the hurt and pain you are going through from his use and verbal abuse.
Please work on taking care of yourself firstly. This is so important.
You can show and tell him about the effects from now until the end of time, but until he hits rock bottom and has some kind of awakening, nothing you say will work. The change will only come when he is ready :-(
You have come to the right place though. SR has given me a lot of insight, encouragement and support over the last few years.
Anita, you are in my thoughts and prayers.