rough day coming
Hi folks. I have some rough times coming-I will try to explain concisely. I have a brother who is an alcoholic although he denies it. He has been drinking every day, all day for about 35 yrs. He lost his wife yrs ago,his children are adults and refuse to have anything to do with him. He physically attacked one of his daughters when she was pregnant and threatened to call the authorities on the other daughter to have her child taken away. He lost his license 6 yrs ago (not dui,another issue) but continued to drive. His truck is finally broken down for good now. He has lost every job he has ever had. He has been skating by on section 8 and foodstamps and an under the table part time job. Now he has no job at all. His bills have been in the arrears for years because whatever money he gets, he spends at the liquor store.
Here is my problem. I have helped him out for years-paid his bills, rent etc...I am not doing that anymore. He is about to get evicted and I know he will want to come to my house-not going to happen. Last time he almost got evicted, he was demanding to store his stuff in my garage. That is not going to happen either. I am going to give him a ride to the laundromat tomorrow but I know he will start in with all his problems. No one can say anything to him about his drinking or spending money on it without him becoming volatile and sometimes violent.
I love my brother and God knows I know what it is like to be an alcoholic. I am willing to help him but I can't help someone who doesn't want the help. My anxiety level is through the roof right now. I know tomorrow morning, when he gets in my car with his travel mug, I will have to check it for beer. (When I was drinking I actually never drank and drove and I have never allowed open containers in my car) I go through this everytime I give him a ride. My sobriety is not in danger because of this but my panic disorder is in full swing. I hate this feeling and am going to have to shut him out.
I don't know what his rock bottom is. He has lost everything but the roof over his head and now he is about to lose that too. He has been homeless before. He just always seems to think he can cheat the system and come out on top. He doesn't realize that he never does.
I guess I just needed to get this off of my chest. I know that I can't change him.