I'm holding on to the idea I was led into this marriage after praying and praying to my HP with absolutely no second thoughts at all. Not an inkling. As irrational as it is, i feel like my HP has betrayed me.
I'm holding on to anger that I've given him all the best parts of me, only to have them thrown in my face. And if i share that with him, he says that I threw everything he gave me into his face and that's why he drinks. Never about anyone but him.
I'm holding onto the dream of how it used to be, before ah started drinking. We had a lot of great years. I haven't quite accepted that we can't go back to that again.
I'm holding onto a lot of pain that I am nowhere near working thru yet.