I have found that alcoholics are great disguisers. Mine was a blackout drinker for over 20 years. The night he was removed from our home by the sheriff and taken to the hospital he bragged how the doctor who drew his blood was shocked to find his BAC was .18----hours after his last drink. He thought it was the best thing ever that the doctor couldn't even tell he was drunk: no slurred speech, no crooked walking, etc. Fast forward to the following summer. He was busted driving his semi drunk, blew a .34 (why God let him live only He knows), woke up in jail stunned asking, "why did they pull me over?".
After 27 years of marriage I have been trying to divorce him for 2 years. He continues to do everything possible to stall this event. Multiple e-mails and voice messages about how he is making this his project to make my life as miserable as possible. Last voice message he stated he hopes I contract cancer and die a slow horrible death.
I have known this man since I was 12. We have been together since I was 16. Married at 20. I am now 49. I love him, yes. I do not speak with him as he knows all my triggers. Boundary: Work a program for a minimum of 3 years and I will consider talking (but only because we have children). It'll never happen. He is and always will be the victim and I am the cause of it all.
Think twice twice before a legal relationship with any addicted person.