Keep reading here. Keep doing your own research as well. There are very wise people here. I think often times we fool ourselves by saying, well our story is not as bad as theirs etc. However, alcoholism is progressive... and most likely it will be as bad as their story. On the other hand, although we say our story is not as bad as theirs, it truly is. We are all left, before our own recovery from this disease that is brought into our lives, that we are not so worthy. Alcoholics (that is the word, yet, I hate using it as it feels to me like I am pointing a finger at them... but that is the word... or addicts) don't really connect with us emotionally the way that people do who are not attics. They need to supply all of their thoughts and attentions to the addiction. It leaves us feeling somewhat worthless and abandon. They say things and do things we could never imagine imposing on another human being. We beg, plead and dote upon them hoping it will change.... not the person we fell in love with or the child we raised or the parent we love, the friend we knew... but the addiction. We hope the addiction changes. We can't change that. Nor is it our job to change that. We have to take them as they are, at any given time. Then we have to stop an think, is this the person I deserve to be with, and is this the way I deserve to be treated. Now is the time that we need to take that attention we shower them with and start loving ourselves and doting upon ourselves. It is a hard road. I often feel somewhat brain washed with all the lies that come along with, as that is a broken trust. Please be kind to yourself. I am new to some realizations of alcoholism, but many wise people will give great advise. Alanon is a good one. Being with people that understand what you are going through will yet be another tool to use, and where this site comes in so useful. Blessings.