I empathize completely. I have 82 days. I struggle with the present, I displaced myself from NYC with the clothes on my back. Lost my fiancé, lost my bar business and I am now at my dads in the middle of nowhere at 39. A fall of epic magnitude. I've received job opportunities in LA, but I can't even process my life moment to moment right now. I lost everything worthwhile and everything I love. Now, I really feel it and know. I had everything a man could want, but I'm an alcoholic and I traded it all in. Riches to rags for picking up that drink. My dad wants me out now too, I don't blame him.