Thank you Sharon! I guess the odd thing about my situation is that this has not been a struggle and I am much happier than before. Even going to AA was like an insurence plan but this time around I havent found it very useful. I know this sounds like I am headed for relapse but I absolutely know what will happen if I drink again. Then again.. I do want to remain sober regardless of ultimately how that is acheived, morally. So I will continue going and if they dont "get it" that I will choose my sponsor when I am ready then I may have to stop. I know that being guilt-tripped and made to feel like a blind fool is not healthy for me. I just hope I can make it work in a way I am comfortable with. Dont get me wrong.. if I let my addiction run free into my daily priorities then I would be happy to have anyone as my sponsor.. but I am not in that place. I made this decision after months of preparing and after years of unquestionable evidence.
I have learned a great deal in this thread. Thanks again everyone! It has been a great help in my perspective of AA. If I had someone who I knew and liked as a sponsor I would have no problem at all. But I dont want strangers pursuing me.
Much love all!!