yumbby

First I'd like to say how grateful I am to find this site, my head is swimming with everything i'm learning. I now know what my fiancé and I have is TOXIC love and all the fun stuff that goes along with him being a life long addict (of everything he could ever get his hands on) and an alcoholic.

My first question in MY recovery is how do you get away from someone that you really do love but that controls you by hurting themselves. I've said I was leaving before and saw him bash his head on the mantle. Still has the two inch scar on his eye. Just one example of the extreme harm he will do to himself if he feels me pulling away or leaving.

I know this is emotional blackmail. I just don't want him to hurt himself anymore but I have to save myself. what do you do with the guilt?

My mom did this to me for years, threatened suicide everytime I'd leave for work or whatever. I ended up eloping with someone from work and never looked back. She never killed herself but he really does harm to himself. :/