What I will say is that when your intuition tells you something is off, it usually is. Keep working on you. As many people say, more will be revealed. When my XAH would drink I usually knew, but once in a while there would be times I was not sure. It would drive me nuts until I realized it really did not matter, he would reveal where he was in his own recovery (or not in recovery) in due time, and I would know for a fact.
That did indeed happen. By the time it did I was strong enough through support here at SR, counseling, and Celebrate Recovery that I knew that no matter what I had to do for me and my kids, I would be ok and so would they.
So sorry you are dealing with this.
XXX