Here is my experience with AA. I have severe panic disorder so speaking in groups paralyzes me. My first meeting was anxiety inducing but good. It was a small group. I got a sponsor and the push was on. I was told that I had to check in with her eveyday and I HAD to do 90 meetings in 90 days. If I missed a day, I had to double up the next day. At my second meeting, the speaker running the meeting started calling on people to speak. I was told by my sponsor that no one would make me speak. I went into full blown panic attack! 2 people who got called on to speak, said he shouldn't be calling people out.
I felt so pressured. I called my sponsor and told her that I couldn't do this right now. Surprisingly, she understood. She said that was not a typical meeting and that if I ever needed anything, just call. I know these people were coming from a good place-just trying to help. For me, it was the wrong kind of help but I still read the big book and when I get better at dealing with my panic disorder, I would go to another meeting.
The bottom line is that you need to find the support that works for you. It sounds like these folks were just trying to share with you what works for them and welcome you into the group. And no, not going to AA doesn't mean you will relapse. There is no one way to sobriety-there are many paths. I haven't gone back to a meeting and I am still sober.