SoberComposer

Hi SR,

Situation: I went to my AA meeting this week but today's speaker became nervous and couldn't go further. There was a lot of time left and they asked if anyone else wanted to speak. I haven't really introduced myself to everyone so decided to use this opportunity to get up on the microphone and give a little of myself. I made it brief and talked a little about my struggle and what lead me to where I am now, at day 41. Most people looked very supportive and it felt very nice.

Afterward: Two seemingly very nice men walked up to me and asked if I have a sponsor yet. I said that I didn't and they immediately began stressing that I must have a sponsor to remain sober. Then one quickly asked me for my number. I said that I always investigate organizations before I join them and want to enter this at my own pace. He understood but as I began explaining my journey they began looking like I was giving them a bunch of hoola. After that one asked if I had a book yet. I said that I had one in storage and at that moment he gave me one off the table and said he would buy it for me. I felt extremely awkward at this point! I originally decided to go to AA because I seriously am focused on my sobriety but it hasn't been a real help this time. In the past when I was worse off it was more critical but now I just know I am done with drinking, no struggle. I don't care what happens to me as long as I don't drink. To me.. drinking is the same as suicide. Not that I would go immediately crazy but I know that I wouldn't be in control and not living at all.. literally walking dead. I will never do that again.

Question: I have heard about people who have quit alcohol without a sponsor or doing the steps. Are these people wrong, who I spoke too tonight? Am I destined to eventually fall back into the bottle without a sponsor/steps?

Thank you in advance,

-Michael