i have to learn how to protect my kids but also how not to mask protecting of kids to get my own way if i dont like someone, as i could be very good at that if i put my mind to it
my kids mum for example i hated her at one time and i tried all sorts of rescrictions to be applied for her to have contact with the kids believing i was right as she was still drinking and a danger to my kids
i took not a blind bit of notice of one of my sons who really loved his mum weather she was a drunk or not
in the end i truely love my kids enough to put my own personal feelings away and let them have what ever will make them happy
i took all restrictions off and let the kids have as much or as little time as they wanted with there mum, despite how i felt, it wasn't about me it was about what is right for my kids and there love for there mum
in the end the kids one by one got fed up with there mums drunkenness and just gave up themselves wanting to be around her with no help from me
kids know who is good to them and what is right and wrong, when my son was 14 he left my care to go and live with his mum as she would let him smoke and drink
i could of had the law on to it but who would of been the bad guy if i did ?
my son would of hated me for taking him away so i left him to live with her
within 4 months he came back home to live with me and his siblings as he wanted to try and help his mum but found out in the end he couldn't
he got hurt in the process but he also had to grow from it, we can not protect our kids from things like this forever not when they get to be hot headed teens that much i had to find out for myself
i know my lad was much older than your kids are but i only use this to help maybe jog you to look at you and your own feelings.
make sure you find out how the kids feel if they love there grandparents then you will have to work around it so they can continue to carry on with there relationship with there grandparents
if they can not stand the sight of them then that is a different matter and you could tell the grandparents were to go and know it will not hurt your kids, the grandparents would then have to accept its not about them.
so i guess the message is be clear as to the motives behind your actions and good luck to you : )