Originally Posted by
Meraviglioso 
I don't like letting go, I don't like feeling deprived of something I "want"
In my experience of getting sober, and working with many others getting sober, if at any level it is still something you "want", you might not be ready to really get sober....It is something that it elusive and difficult for many even when they really don't want it anymore. When one reaches a point of being sick of being sick, and the soul feels wretched and empty, we can find an acceptance and understanding that the last thing we want is to drink. That's the start. If one still holds on the wanting and thinking you are depriving yourself of something "good", our alcoholic mind will definitely use that to get get you drinking again. All the best, sobriety is a wonderful thing.