Stung, it took me 8 months to work out my concept of my Higher Power on Step 3. Most of that time was allowing myself to let go of my 'gang' affiliation. Some people feel you need to trot through the steps as if you will fall into the pit of despair. For me not being an A, I feel like the 12 steps is helping me systematically review my life processes and try to get rid of what really doesn't work. My concept of God was a mash up and not working for me. For me, I knew I had to take the time to work my HP out in my head at 3 or I'd be stuck when I got to 5,6,7....
I did a lot of thinking driving to and from work and when I couldn't sleep. I left my HP nebulous, which was a nod to my human limitations.
A lot of us here take a lot of faith from coincidence. But in actuality coincidence is scientifically in your numbers realm BUT the scientists also realize our brains are wired to seek meaning. This Radio Lab episode is quite entertaining about this issue.
Stochasticity - Radiolab
You'll work it out though it is unlikely to be a neat Excel spreadsheet or some sort of systems model. For you with young kids, you might want to decide do you want them raised in a faith community.
Anne Lamott has some irreverent books on her faith that you might like too. She writes with a bubbly enthusiasm so it isn't dry. This one thing in your life - faith - does not have to be orderly. It will fall into place, but it might always be a ball of yarn threatening to spill out of the basket and roll all over...
http://www.amazon.com/Traveling-Merc...B7N61J775A5HT4