Would there be any chance of getting my husband some help? He needs it desperately, but I don't think that me pointing it out will likely help anything. I am of the understanding that codependents often need to hit their own rock bottom and realize their need for change.
Would it help you for me to point out YOUR own codpendency here? With all that YOU have been through and all that your other children have been through - have YOU not hit your own rock bottom?
At this point I think your focus needs to be on YOU fixing you not on you trying to fix your husband.
Me personally, I could deal with the view from across the street!!!!!