Hi Opio
My experience is that addicts often end up with partners who are also disturbed in ways of their own, other than addiction issues.
I came to realise that a very well rounded, wholesome, sane thinking woman, would not have looked upon me as marriage & breeding material.
The only two relatively "issue free" women that I had relationships with, cut me loose after a short period. Maybe they did have some issues, but they were never glaringly apparent to me. Whilst my issues were glaringly apparent to them, hence they didn't stick around very long.
So, I now look at it along the lines of "birds of a feather flock together" or to sugar coat it even less "unwell attracts unwell" regardless of the actual issues each respective partner has, two sick cookies are better than one. Or so each partner thinks as they forge their relationship.
In my case & I think in the case of my wife, neither of us consciously sort each other out. It happened on a more subconscious level at first.
It has taken two different runs at recovery for me to be able to see & try to accept, what I have written above.
I hope that helps
