SJ - whatever happens, you are not a loser. Our friend Dee posted this in my thread today and I'm going to pass it on to you:
"Putting ourselves down is actually one of the main weapons our addiction has...if it can convince us we're not really worth fighting for it has us beat."
Your recollection of 9/11 gave me chills and I think you're doing a great thing reaching out to guys and/or ladies overseas and teaching your children the kindness of reaching out to others as well.
I'm not an expert at this so I won't pretend to give you any advice or anything...but let's just keep pushing forward ok?