Originally Posted by
Alphabet 
I drank
I think I mostly did it as an experiment, and my therapist agrees. I think a larger part of my reason for doing it is rebellion. I felt that a right, a choice, had been taken away from me and I HATED it. I felt that not being able to drink was something that had been put upon me, not something that I was choosing for myself (though in reality, it was)!
I've talked to my boyfriend about it and we've discussed a different way of approaching MY choice not to drink. I feel it's detrimental to "forbid" me from drinking; it makes me want to all the more. I don't need another father figure (I've got two!) and he gets that.
Just wanted to come on here and get some accountability.
This is exactly where I was last year. I willing went to a counselor and his answer was complete abstinence. That made me feel like I was being treated like a child or something. Or my husband (trying to help made me feel bad about my drinking) this made me drink more... No one was going to tell me how to live my life. A small part of me feels like that but it is now MY choice to stop... The hangovers, the toll of my health, the broken relationships are not worth it anymore.
It so much easier when it's your decision. If your doing it for yourself and your well being. That's a powerfull feeling. It's one of the hardest things I will go through in life but I have never felt better or felt more "in charge" if that makes sense.
Wishing you well
