I totally agree Jupe.
Even if I'm feeling negative emotions, like sad, angry, lonely, whatever it may be, at least I'm actually feeling. At least that's REAL.
I like "there's a light at the end of the tunnel. But it's a sewage tunnel and you have to wade through alot of **** to get there."
I'm a firm believer that all of those feelings I "drank away" didn't just disappear, never to resurface again. I'm gonna have to wade through all of that stuff, those old, numbed emotions, to get to that light & to start feeling better.
I call this stage of my recovery "emotional defrosting", lol.