Like a few others, I also suspect that old age may have a big role in his attitude. Maybe fears of his health failing and/or the inevitable end that he is trying to conceal this way. My father is 83 years old and I have been noticing some remarkable changes in his thinking and behavior. He often wants to talk on the phone for long hours, but more recently finds strange excuses when I bring up the question when I should visit next (he lives far from me in a different country). That never happened before and I am pretty certain it's his changes now. He never knew about my drinking problem so it has nothing to do with my sobriety or whatnot. I actually ask him sometimes what bothers him but try not to be intrusive. He wants to speak about death and lots of existential questions and we do that over the phone.
It's not a pointless thread at all, Jennie. Of course these things bother us and make us question ourselves as well! Maybe try to talk with him via the phone or email if you can?