Tonight-
It was an affair that my hubby had that got me dealing with the reality that alcohol had been in my marriage the whole time.
I don't know if they are linked. I do know that they both made me FEEL crazy, like I was the problem etc. I was working my own recovery at the time and blamed a lot of the problems on myself.
My own recovery though finally started to give me perspective that there was a critical difference between my eating disorder and whatever was happening with my loved one.
I was willing to name it, bring it out in the open and work on it.
Finally my recovery helped me to see that though I might not be able to "diagnosis" my loved one I did have a say over how that behavior affected and impacted me. I walked on eggshells around his alcohol use a long time. Something snapped in me about the affair and I did not struggle with that in the same way.
So what kind of support do you have for you? I had to get my feet under me before I could tackle the relationship.