No drinks 4 out of 5 days...
So I had 3 days in a row after a fun weekend, but Wednesday night I ran into my ex in the elevator (first conversation we had since he ended it 4 months ago), and needless to say I felt the need to drink that feeling away.
I'm pretty new here, so I'm not sure what 'level' of dependence I have. It used to be when I'd go out 2-3 nights a week I would drink a lot an enjoy it, but last fall I was feeling lonely at a new university and place, so it turned into going out a couple times a week with other days during the week, maybe 4 days a week of being drunk at night. Then when my relationship ended it really spiraled and I could tell it was getting worse. Most of this summer (he ended it in May) I spent about 6 out of 7 days drunk.
So while 4 out of the last 5 days doesn't seem like much I feel I'm turning a corner. I've always been into exercise but now I get up at 6 am for the gym, and often go again at night after school to help me relax. I'm going to bed at 9 or 10, right around the times I would want to drink because everyone else is out and I'm home by myself.
I guess I just wanted to post because it is Friday and feel the pull of it today at school. I feel so LAME and pathetic going home and going to bed at 9 tonight, everyone else is out having fun (i'm at a big party school for grad school) and I'm just home reading or playing some random video game to pass the time till I can sleep and fight through another day. Doesn't seem like much fun...
Anyway, not sure what I'm looking for here, but just figured I'd share my story for now.
Edit: I should mention I have issues with anxiety and depression (take meds and see a therapist weekly), so that is always in the mix of my drinking too. I get lonely at night, so might as well drink and watch bad movies or fool around online, wake up feeling ****** for myself and sleeping like crap - Then I debate if I can stretch it one more day... what's one more day, it's the weekend right? better than being anxious about school or being depressed because of my very lonely life.