Hi Mischa,
I am 4 years out from my heroic sacrificial ridiculous efforts to sober up the "love of my life" and now have the benefit of seeing how it worked our both him and I after breaking up.
Jails, rehabs, hospitals, counselors, drugs (every drug for addiction/recovery etc) doctors, AA, Christian counseling, pastoral counseling, more rehabs (over 10 total in the past 2 decades...4 while I was with him) and lets not forget the many medical detox's! Yes...it was simply dreamy being with the love of my life who "wanted to get sober". (now this is funny but ohhhhhh I believed this "quacking" that he quacked incessantly because quacking always got he wanted (enabler deluxe edition).
What I learned is rehabs can be helpful but they are just geopgraphy. Detoxes can help but that only STARTS the process of the getting the alcohol and drugs out of the brain and tissues. It can take up to 2 years to hopefully regain full brain function with nueralplasticity (new neural pathways through positive thinking, learning how to make good decisions rather than impulsive stupid decisions and most definitely learning how to live sober...hopefully with God at the center)
Sober is not recovery. Not all recoveries are equal... authentic recovery is the rarity usually. So don't pine over the "one that got away" to whoever that poor ex is in Russia. When your XA wants recovery he will look to find it on his own...then it will mean something!
And that love (the crazy swooning butterflies in the stomach kind) is chemicals dumping from our brains! When the recipient of our love is toxic, mean, lazy and thoroughly useless to us and humanity it is usually a broken picker (I used to have one!!! LOL)
The purpose of my story? Just losing the husband quickly is fabulous!!!! Dump him on his head (you are helping him find his own way out) but please do hang out and read the stickies, read books (we have bestsellers on SR focused on codependency and addiction) and check out Alanon.
You can develop a great sense of radar to pick out toxic men LOOONG before you want to marry them so you can help them medically detox and become a great husband. One of my favorite sayings is that RED FLAGS are NOT party favors so don't collect them!
You are doing great just its well known that it is HARD to shake an alcoholic once they get their claws in so don't be surprised if he shows up on your doorstep wth roses and chocolates declaring his undying love. Lock the door and come share on SR!
Good luck! Oh and my XA? He drank his way across the country and went to jail a few more times, had a heart serious heart procedure at 44, lived in penthouses gambling and lived on skid row a time or two. He is going into another program of recovery when a bed comes available and is now living with Mom. At 44 that translates as homeless. Almost married that guy and even still have the dress with tags. So... the word of the day is EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!