alumni

Whether stupid or not doesn't matter right now. It was what it was. Emphasis on the was.
Sounds to me like you are at a point now where cold-turkey is clearly your best option. Any way you can reach out to family, loved ones or a physician is an option you should pursue. Withdrawal is no picnic but doing it alone is usually an unnecessary complication. I've discovered that anyone in your current situation is much better off adopting an attitude of total honesty with everyone in your life. You will be amazed at the acceptance, support and understanding you'll find when you drop the bs and ask for help.
Sometimes it really does "take a village."
Hang in there and keep your focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.