I've been down that exact same path myself recently.
relapse can truly be an eye opening experience, as I think no matter how much we try to "just have 1 or 2 socially" or moderate a alcoholic has no such choice. It all leads back to where we started - and inevitably worse.
I know the early morning pulls from the bottle all too well, and waking up from a blackout with the immediate feelings of desperation.
You said you are putting an end to this and I believe you, because I know exactly how you feel right now.
You made the right choice in coming here looking for support. SR is a lifesaver!
I'm glad you have support at home and from your closest friends! These are the kind of tools needed to get the job done!