OK.
Originally Posted by
doureallycare2 
how do we know that I'm not the one projecting, over analyzing, blowing things out of proportion, because maybe deep down I know were not a good fit. I have done nothing but break up with guys the whole last year. most only got a month and some were really sweet guys. However I ran from them all.. Wonder if I'm running again and its me not him....?
Well.... Let's see...
1. You have that news article, so you're not making that part up. (Didn't think you were, by the way.) Your description of him and that article kind of fit together...
2. It sounds like you were able to call it quits with the other guys without intense guilt, without thoughts of "poor him, he really needs me so I should stay" and without pulling up news stories about dead girlfriends as barely-used justification for ending the relationship. You are a constant factor, the new variable in the equation is him.
Doyoureallycare2, I seriously do not get the feeling that you're blowing this all out of proportion, in fact, I think you may be glossing over the severity of the details or justifying them on his behalf. This:
We talk on the phone 2-3 hours every night (he drinks through the conversation)and I have to be there to take his calls. He hated it if I went to dinner with friends so I gradually stopped doing that. I refused to stop doing things with my family though and that is a constant problem with us.. I have slowly stopped going to something's (like graduation parties ect.) and have drastically reduced any time with friends. I go home every night just to talk with him. He is very jealous, always thinks I'm looking for another man. (he just seems to like to pick fights over the phone- 1/3 of the conversation is always negative.
If he is displeased he would withhold affection and conversations.. Everything very quickly seems as though its on his terms. if he doesn't want to see me over the weekend we don't get together, he will not make set plans with me (and mocks and ridicules me that I need or want set plants) he will say we will see for Saturday, maybe dinner, maybe you spending the night at my house (usually will not happen). Many times the dates would be cancelled even if they were planned. I tried ending it twice before. Only to answered his calls once he has assured me that he loves me. I had to keep it a secret from family that I was seeing him again.
is not blowing things out of proportion just because you don’t think you’re not a good fit together. It’s a detailed list of his actions that include manipulation, isolating you from friends and family, exerting control over where you go or who you see, emotional abuse…
Looking back at life with AXH, I can see that I did the same justifying and glossing over in my relationship with AXH. As I worked through everything surrounding my relationship with AXH, I didn’t really question whether or not the way AXH acted or the things that he did actually occurred. I did, however, question the validity of my emotions related to the events. I believed the stuff happened, but maybe I just over-reacted. It’s taken a bit of work to accept that my feelings were valid.
I’m writing all of this because I understand the feelings behind the first quote I posted here. But, it’s not you. You’re not at fault. You’re not blowing things out of proportion.