You're not hopeless at all, but your addiction loves it when you think you are.
Drinking takes a lot of energy - buying the booze, drinking the booze, trying not to be sick, trying not to be embarrassing, trying to find excuses why you can't meet your responsibilities....
You can use some of that energy to find help and support, and to really use that help....recovery groups, doctors, counsellors, inpatient or outpatient rehabs....
I hope you decide to do just that Serenidad
D