You're hopeless because you're drinking. That's the trick alcohol plays on you. "Oh, this will make me feel better." Fast forward a few months and I'm ready to die, wanting to die, sure I'm gong to die of this.
It's. A. Lie.
It's a lie, Serenidad. Make today the last day you let it kill you slowly. Please.
I have had three days in a row where I really want to drink. It has been very difficult. I've prayed, I've exercised, I've eaten ice cream. I've white knuckled. I hate it.
Your story is not at all helpful to me. I'm bowing out.