Well, like I said I wasn't suicidal or planning to do anything intentionally.
I just realize that it is a risk that I am taking. I took that risk every time I shot dope too. It wouldn't be fair for my children to only hear about their father from third parties. I thought it would be wrong to not explain things to them in my own words. If something were to happen to me then I would rather them at least have given them something written by mean that explained the situation to them. Almost every single person on here has risked their lives taking drugs. That is just what comes with the territory. Again, I don't want to check out early, but if something were to happen then I want them to hear my side of things.
If I could leave for a rehab right now I would do it! Hell - it would be like a ******* vacation from this place! I still do not have faith that my wife would be able to take care of my children in my absence though. Until I have that reassurance I am not going anywhere.