Originally Posted by
ladyscribbler 
The blame shifting is SOP among alcoholics and their enablers. You are a convenient target, being the ex. None of it can be her fault, because that might lead to uncomfortable realizations about her drinking. The family wants to stay in denial so they go along with it.
So sorry to hear that you suffered physical abuse. That is never OK, ever. You deserve much better.
You may never understand her or her family's distorted thinking, but you can understand yourself, find out what makes you tick, why you stayed so long for so much abuse (I am not criticizing you here, I did the same thing, stuck around WAAAY past the expiration date should have passed on my last relationship.
I've been working things out with Alanon and through individual counseling. You made a good, healthy choice for yourself. Nothing to feel guilty about.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am not making an excuse here I just want to clarify... I just got hired with a company i will not name working from home. Job paid pretty well about 17 bucks an hour.. I would be working on the computer. The training would have started Aug 11th... July is when she went way downhill with the drinking and it kept getting worse.. I did not have the money to move, and neither of my parents had internet. I would also have to get permission from this company to move and have my home address changed.. it is very complicated but the reason i stayed for so long is simple i did not want to lose my job. I just graduated in june with my Bachelors degree from using my GI Bill from when i was in the military. This would have been my first job out of college.. Basically because of her drinking i was unable to even start the job.. i was trying drastically to work out the details to work from my fathers home after he agreed to let me but by then it was to late the cable company could not get the internet turned on in time for the training to start and I had already had the training date pushed back once already to Aug 11th because of her drinking. So yes her drinking cost me my job as well.