Spia, I think you got some good advice and info here. All I can add is this link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...s-stories.html
What seems to constitute "success" now may look very different to you in a week, a month, a year. And your comment about having at least as much work to do on yourself as the A has to do on himself is exactly what I've found in my own case.