thank you all, I know you are right, I just don't know what else to book, a differnet holiday, he shouldn't miss out omn a break, and god knows I need one, but it has to be something without temptation, I may not be strong enough, I have a rock by my side who is happy to change the holiday, I really appreaciate your advice, ive never done this before and im scared and emotional and its huge.