Brach, All day I have been thinking about what I am going to do to distract myself on Thursday, and attending a meeting is an option. After Thursday passes, each day will become a bigger challenge, because I am going to feel like I owe myself a drink. I know this because it has happened before. I need to keep myself busy in the evenings and hold myself accountable, so I plan to go back to AA. I was sober once for 40 days and then I visited a friend of mine in London. She wanted to sample the drink that put me in AA - it was a Champagne cocktail. I joined her and now I am back to square one. There has to be a time when you know in your heart that this time you mean it...I hope I am there.